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as always, the december period is a time where i spent a lot of time being close to people under God's family, and this year, it was no different. first, it was mission then camp and all the christmas celebrations.

first, this year's mission was different. as in all years that i went, every year it's a total new experience. and this year, maybe because as i continue to grow older, i see even more than what i don't in the past few trips that i have went to. God is really working as always, and as for me, He has remained faithful throughout this year and has worked in my life. i was taught about having faith in God a lot this year, from having to wait for about 10 years for a prayer to get answered to the little things like learning new lessons about faith each day throughout the whole year.

at first, i felt super not prepared for the whole trip cos i had to deal with the heavy workload in school and prepare for my upcoming exams just 3 days after i came back from thailand. but God taught me this, when He calls, there is no denying his work. cos when you miss this opportunity, you never know when will the next one come. so i went ahead for 10 days and cramped all the possible information i could when i came back. true enough, i went for the exam having just studied one day or just a few hrs for each paper, but as i did each paper, i felt at peace knowing that God was with me as i did each papers. i got back my results just last week during camp, and thank God! i didnt do fantastically great but my results are really by God's grace. cos during the term, i kind of missed lessons due to another module, and i too missed quizzes. so to get the possible results that i could, it was not man alone. and also, my GPA improved from last semester. that's even more amazing, so all these things, i have to give God praise and glory.

this is just one of the many lessons God has taught me, and there are so many other things which God has taught me. but too many to list out but i thank God for each and every one of them :)

so after exams was camp. and again, i thank God. speaker was great, sessions were great, everything was just awesome in short. whatever i was taught in camp was really in line with whatever i learnt through mission. like the theme faith just kept coming up for me. and of course something else to thank God for was the friendships. i bonded with people i did not in the past and it was just great! :D

i believe next year would be a great year. and i continue to pray that God will teach and reveal lessons or remind me about things which i have forgotten about or new insights to things which he would want to me hold firm to.

been really busy in school and it's only the beginning of the semester! every week i see deadlines, one test after another test. for now i'm trying to take things slow but the lecturers are not allowing me to do so. now i know why the music lecturer says if we're taking about 4/5 mods, its not advisable to take the course. but my friends and i were just saying we must have been crazy to take this module. plus on top of that, most of us are taking at least 4 mods and above. so it's not only me who is facing the same problem but actually all of us. so i really thank God for friends who are willing to work together and get through tough times together. like we would stay in school and make sure all of us finishes up the project before leaving school, and we would also provide help and support to whoever who needs them. it's really by God's grace that i have found friends like these during this sem :)

above that, i thank God for providing me in me time of need. today, i got a call from school saying they would do a refund for one of my modules that i dropped last semester. and i think for my school, one mod cost at least 1.5K or 2K at least?! so on mon, i got to go find the person in charge to get the form for my refund. if the amount is the above stated, than really it's by God's grace again, i cant ask for anything more. but if the amount is anything lesser, i also won't be discouraged cos it is still money and i am quite in need of some cash for now. so God has really heard my prayers, even though i didn't really pray to Him about this issue. wow, what an amazing God we have :)

right, so to side track from school a bit, i have been watching the rugby world cup these few days. and some of the games are really interesting. like the one happening now, ireland and australia. wow, all i can say is i am impressed with ireland. like they not giving up and they are using all they got to compete against an australian side who is higher ranked than them in the world rankings i think. and they are coming up on top of them by 6 points for now with about 14 mins left to play. and they are still going at it. all i can say is w.o.w. and of course the other day, the all balcks beat the japanese 83-7. they just kept going at it, and i feel for the japanese but it is a game, so there always have to be a winner.

alright, it's time for me to study! i still have an online quiz to complete by monday, and another quiz on this coming thurs. plus on top of that, i still have to study and keep pace with my development psych lecture cos there's a lot of things to remember and she will keep asking question during lessons, so got to keep pace with her lesson if not, will get kinda in trouble :/ and above all, i still got to do my magazine project. everyday, there's just more and more things to do like crazily. so i got to use my time wisely and use whatever time i have properly.

this semester is a little crazy. i'm taking 4 modules but the workload for one of the modules can totally eat up whatever free time i have. every week i got to do something on photoshop which is just pure madness. its like consecutive 2 months of immense workload before i finally can breathe. i think this is the first time ever that i got so much work to do since entering into uni. i mean it's fun and a different experience altogether cos who gets to do a full magazine and than getting to sell it to people in school. i think its just cos i've never used photoshop before and it's a total new experience to me, plus i'm doing the design part plus photography, that explains why photoshop.

last semester when this module was around, they did a concert in school plus they arranged a concert for jack and rai, so this time he gave us a new task and that's by doing a magazine. but it's a full class effort and i need to say bye to 100 bucks for the publishing of the magazine and the concert that we are going for. but in the mean time, i still have to worry about the deadline for next week. which is getting the front cover out by next week. i'm just complaining cos of the workload not cos of the lecturer. he's funny and he's really good with his pipa. yes, he plays the pipa apparently and is quite good at it, plus he has his own company and teaches music at another few schools and he's kinda young, on top of that, he has a phd in ethnomusicology. like whoa!

anyway, i have a few days to get the front cover of the magazine done. i'm not even half way through it cos i only got the heading of the magazine done. but apart from the busy schedules, i thank God for really good lecturers this sem. i mean out of the 4 mods, 1 is an online mod so i will nvr get to see his face or know him. 2 of them are young lecturers - kind of, and they can relate to us on a more personal basis which is good cos i hardly get lecturers who will do that. and they are bringing us out on like "excursions". one to the arts house for a concert and one to the civilisation musuem for an art gallery. the other is my psy101 lecturer which i kind of enjoy her lessons la. at least she makes me understand and want to attend her lectures.

so i just started the semester last week, really looking forward to a GREAT but seriously busy semester. crosses my finger, cos apart from the group projects i have to do, there are still quizzes and exams to study for. hopefully my tiny brain can contain all the information. but at least this grand project will last till only november, cos by november the magazine will be published :) looking forward to that day like totally.

i love travelling around to places. some of the places i have dreamt of going my whole life would be maldives (obviously), brazil, korea, the whole of europe if i have a chance, africa, india and lots more. i know people ask me why i want to go to india and they are like huh? there got things to see, but to me i always give them an answer, it is a different culture altogether. u experience things u wont get to experience here in singapore, and of course one reason is to see the taj mahal. when i retire, i am going to save all the money i have to make sure i can go travelling around the world to experience cultures and see wonders.

one thing i love about traveliing is that i can just stand in amazement with what God has created. the mountains to the rivers to the seas, to almost anything. it is all made by Him. from the little details to big differences, everything. each time i remember of this, i am amazed by how a big God like Him would love a person like me so much. and each time, i am reminded to give thanks for having such a wonderful place to live in with all these wonderful creations to see.

i have a chance to go maldives. it depends on whether i want to go a not. one thing is, tickets are not cheap if i travel after the jan period cos than all the ticket promotions will be over. but for now, tickets are as cheap as 1.5k for 2 people. and i dont have to worry about the hotel cos everything is already planned. i just need to say okay, book the tickets for the plane, and off i can go to maldives. maybe not now, i can go in the future cos i would need to save at least 6k for it i guess before i can think of going. hmmm, oh well. but at least i know when i want to go, i can go. i just need to put in money for my air tickets thats all. amazing at how people around can help you from the smallest to the biggest of things. thank God.

and its another year of mission this coming year end. i cant wait to experience the people and culture again. missed out last years trip, thankful to God for being able to go this year cos all my dates work out perfectly. everything is by God's grace :)

just started with the 2nd half of my semester. taking bio psychology, its tough. with all the terms that i have to remember within 6 weeks, hopefully i can do it properly. and of course, there's still so much quizzes to hand in. i have 5 or 6 quizzes to do by this coming Monday alone. apart from that i still got to study almost everyday for as long as the semester goes cos there's just too much things for me to take in. it's not possible for me to do a last minute studying. and he's very very particular about small things. i think its my first time coming across such a lecturer so far. buy anyway, i just got to do my part and leave the rest to God.

anyway, i would really like to thank God for watching over me for the first half of the semester. apart from all the business that i went through, God really watched over me. i got both B- for both subjects. not very good but at least i got a B something and not a C, which at first i thought i had a C+ for one of the subjects. so after checking through today, i saw a B- and its really difficult to score for the lecturer cos she is quite anal about things. apart from that, i passed my driving too. very thankful for it also cos i really was facing my busiest week of school when i had my TP. now i can drive a car on the road with a proper license. but of course i have yet to drive a car for now since getting my license, maybe sometime soon i guess.

oh, and i cant wait for the tioman trip next week. it's next Saturday to the following Tuesday! egg-citied for it. hopefully i can save enough money to spend there and maybe learn diving there if i can. just dreaming about it almost everyday. cant wait for this week to be over any quicker. and when I'm back, I've got to worry about mid terms, but for now, my mind is all on tioman. and when I'm there, i am just gonna concentrate on having fun and nothing else :)

as you can see from my subject, its listed as busy bee. not only am i busy, but tired as well. im 4/6 into half of my semester and i have something dued almost every week. for example, 2 weeks ago, i just had an exam then i had another one last week. this fri i will be having another paper and next tues, i have got a paper to submit. after the 5th week is over, i have got to prepare for my final exams for half of the semester.

amongst all these busy moments i have in school, this week will be very much invovled with the practices for the wedding. so a lot of time is spent in church doing dance and music practices. not only that, i still have to go for my final few driving lessons before my TP on the 30th june. with this, i really want to thank God. cos i went ahead to book my TP without even knowing whether i have a paper on that day itself. so when i got the timing for the TP, and i found out about my timing for my paper, i realised that there wasn't any clashes in the timing. God is indeed amazing even in small situations like this :)

and today, for some reason, i feel extremely tired. i just felt that everything is coming in one go. like i just realised today all my exams that are coming up and the amount of time i have to study for the papers is just so limited. but then again, God reminded me at this timely time about his promises. about him giving me rest. i was indeed so blessed and touched by this reminder cos i must trust and believe that God is my sole provider for strength. that i need not rely on my own strength but all i need to do is to rely on him alone. i just got to learn to let go and let God.

but of course, i would need to also put in the right amount of effort needed to get through this 2 weeks. after that, i have a week break than its the second half of the semester which i can sense is going to be crazily busy too. but something to look forward is that i'm going to tioman with some others, so really looking forward to the few days break away from my tight and busy schedule. need a time very much for relaxation!

okay, and since i am blogging today, i feel very kan choing for some reason for my TP. even if it's not tmr, i just feel scared for some reason. like i want to do my best to pass on the very first time. but i really dont know how everything's gg to turn out. and i still have yet to go into circuit. so the final 6 lessons will be focusing on circuit. and above that, i also got to learn the techniques for parking properly. cos there's so many thing to remember at one time and so many thing to concentrate on.

i wont be blogging often i guess cos i'm seriously busy till if there's time for me to just sit down and use the computer, i'll be eternally grateful for it. and hence, thats the reason for the lack of post recently cos i'm just so caught up with school work that i rarely even have the time to sit for one moment and spend maybe 20 mins just to blog about things that have been going on. but today, why i did was because i feel that if i don't, i might just go into some form of depression, haha. no just jking, but i just need some place where i can rant all my stuff so yes. okay, so yes, i've got to study at least a chapter now before i can sleep cause tmr's a long day and i wont have the time to do so. and i have got only thurs left after that to study. so may God bless my brains very effectively and so i can remember every single detail that i have studied.

I HATE BIDDING FOR MODULES ONLINE! it's like every semester, i've got to sit in front of the computer and make sure that i get my courses, if not i've got to come up with other alternatives which i really have no time to look at until i see that there's no way i can get my courses online. and by that time, i'm left with really shitty courses to take which i seriously don't wish to even come across but because i don't have a choice, i got to take them. BAHHH. :/

this is what happened to me today, i've been in my school portal since like what 5.30, and i stayed till 6 so i can start bidding at 6. i know the amount of people that's trying to log into the school website, and i also know how jammed it's going to get. that's why i have to be inside the portal by 6 if not my wish of getting my wanted modules will go down the drain. so i logged in at 6 and managed to get to the page. but when i clicked on add courses, the whole system just major jammed like totally. and i seriously don't understand why i got kicked out of the system. so i tried like 5 times and i just could not get in! so finally at 6.18, i managed to get in. and i had to add the courses like 1 by 1, cos every time i add a course, after that, the system will kick me out. so i got to re log on and do it again. so i only got 2 of the courses which i wanted.

major bleah-ness. cos the other 2 to me is major important, i don't think i can get 1 of the courses any time soon. so i just got to hope that someone will drop that course so i can add on the course. but so far from what i see, it would not be happening today. so, i got to wait till next week or at least until i start school before i can try again. seriously, the stress of doing all these every semester gets to me and i just don't like not getting the courses i want cos sometimes, it's really important for me to get those courses. total sian-ness now!

okay, i shall not complain anymore but just hope for the best. but as of now, the courses i'm taking next sem will be scientific enquiry of psychology, work organizational psychology (bleah, cos of the lecturer), survey on art history and something to do with the reinassance period - still okay cos it's 1 of the important courses cos it's a free elective and lastly, anthropology - i don't know what is it. i'm just taking it cos it can be a free elective, and for now, i need to clear my free elective.

and the courses that i can't get are biopsychology - which is something i really am interested in and i can't get it! and the other one, sociology 211 which i'm not too sure what is it about - but something important too cos it can cover 2 criterias on my list.

okay, the only "ggod thing" about it would be the timetable maybe? i don't have too many early classes. and also, i don't have too long a break in between. like if i were to take the other set than the breaks in between will be super big and i have lots of early classes. so it may be a blessing in disguise. i shall be postive about it, and look ahea

so its on this coming fri, i canont wait to eat all the food and the shopping :)

away from 4th - 12th.

on a random note, i'm reading this book written by jodi picoult. one of my fav authors of all times, she sometimes write the most amazing book ever like my sister's keeper. this one is about this boy with aspergers syndrome and we see how he was being mistook as the killer but in actual fact he's not. it's his brother who is suffering from some serious problem with breaking into people's houses. so the main jist of the book is about this boy with aspergers doing everything to keep the younger brother from getting charged. so it's quite touching cos the boy is usually being seen as wierd and now he has to be the older brother to save his brother.

i haven't really update this blog cos i don't have much to update recently, but today i feel that i need to blog about something. it's about this thing called fear. it creeps into you just like that when you least expect it and leaves you hanging and not knowing what to do. something happened today and i got that feeling.

okay, let me begin the story. i was out with my friend today, and my mum called. she said something about asking me to stay over at my grandma's place to make sure she's okay for these few days as no one is staying with her now as my uncle is away. she said a few days ago, while sleeping, my grandma suddenly could not breathe. so she got panicky but somehow managed to get to the hospital by the ambulance. my mum had to accompany her and everything. i don't know but when i heard i was really afraid. i think in my heart, i was worried.

my grandma has been someone who really looked after me ever since i was young. she always made sure that i was okay, doing fine. when my family splitted up, she really went all out and took the effort to take care of my every need. she cooked for me, i stayed over at her place, she brought me home from school even though it was troublesome for her to walk, she did everything that she could. even though being at her age, until now, she still cooks reunion dinner for us during every chinese new year. and most importantly, she introduced God to me. she was someone who always gave and never thought of taking anything back. she was so sacrificial, knowing that my grandpa was like that, she didn't give up, knowing that my uncle was like that, she did not give up.

so, i guess the next few days will be spent at her house making sure she's fine until my uncle comes back to singapore.

Lord, please watch over her. this is my prayer. she's the closest that i have among all my grandparents. i really do not wish anything to happen. she's been a strong lady for the family and everything. she suffered even in her old age, where she should not even be worrying about money issues, family issues and children issues. but everything just has to happen to her. Lord, i really do not understand. God please, i really need her around.

had 2 quizzes today, one went quite okay. the other went horribly unwell. the thing is i got 2 psych quizzes on the same day and the review questions for the cognitive psych doesn't even make sense to the quiz and text book and his slides! oh gosh, had a difficult time studying for it for real. so i spent the entire 30 mins during the quiz feeling super unsafe for the answers i have answered. i'm sure i won't do that well, cos after the quiz i checked through my answers to the textbook and the slides, i seriously could not remember whatever i had answered. my mind went into a state of blank-ness.

anyway, it's done and it can't be undone. so i should just wait for my results to come out and hope that i would do better for the next one.

chinese new year is around the corner. just next week, so i shall go chinese new year clothes shopping. i really need to refrain myself from eating all the tidbits from chinese new year so i won't grow fat.

one of my added on new year resolutions is to get fit. and be disciplined on a serious note and not procrastinate and just sit there and eat and grow fat. need to really do all my exercises on a regular basis and train my stamina up. partly the reason is also cos i need to lose weight for taiwan. all the eating, surely i'll gain weight. so before i can gain more weight, i have to lose it first before i gain back the weight. cos if i don't lose it now, i'll just add on to what's already here which is bad. and i plan to eat all the nice food there! so time to exercise. i plan to go swimming every wed since it's a free day for me. and this time, it's serious!